


Let's Take a Quiz

by orphan_account



Series: CaptainEnterprise (Star Trek Youtube AU) [5]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Multi, YouTube, quiz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-14
Updated: 2017-04-14
Packaged: 2018-10-18 18:50:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10622970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Jim takes quizzes about himself for his YouTube channel.*Only the first chapter is actual story. The second one just shows the quizzes and answers.





	1. Jim takes Quizzes

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I am not Gene Roddenberry so Star Trek isn't mine.

Jim was seated at his desk. He smiled at the camera as he said, “Attention Crew, this is your Captain speaking, prepare to Boldly Go!”

A six-clip montage took over the screen with a remixed version of Empire of Angels playing over them. Jim’ mother was attempting to put lipstick on him as he giggled in one. Nyota and Jim were laughing so hard they couldn’t breathe in another. The next clip was a of Leonard knocking Spock out of frame in an effort to gain more elbow room. Hikaru and Jim were trying to figure out directions in the second to last clip. The final clip was of Jim falling onto a huge bed and dragging Leonard and Spock with him.

With the introduction over the scene opened on Jim at his desk, in the right-hand corner was Jim’s computer screen. “Hey guys! So, I’ve seen a few YouTubers bravely taking quizzes over themselves on the internet and I thought I’d give it a shot. Let’s see where this leads,” Jim says opening Google on his laptop.

“Um, ignore my browser history,” Jim said as he clicked on the first quiz link. Going back and pausing the video reveled a history of: Banana Seeds, how do I know if I’m trypophobic, adult adoption, dog shelters near me, mastiffs, dog breeds, and good party ideas for 4-year-old girls.

“So, I had Nyota pick out quizzes for me to take. I’m kind of nervous because when she sent me the list to look up she said apparently ‘I would totally date her’ and one of the quizzes is ‘Would Jim Kirk date you?’. I’m going to do that one last because Spock and Bones took it before this and I thought I’d leave you guys in suspense and announce their results at the end,” Jim said as the quiz loaded. “I swear to god we need better Wi-Fi.”

“Anyway,” Jim said as the quiz came up, “This first quiz is called, ‘Which of Jim Kirk (CaptainEnterprise)’s friends are you?’ and it’s ten questions long.”

“What is your favorite color?” Jim read. “That would be Yellow, like that stupid couch over there.

The next question popped up. “I read in my spare time,” Jim said before doing a double take at the next question. “Um, what type of question is who would you save if you could only save one person? Oh, my God, Bones and Spock are two of the answers.”

Jim spends a few seconds looking at the screen before he sighs in relief and clicks on ‘I can’t pick it’s took hard.’ “Like I’m glad I found that option,” Jim said.

Jim works his way through the next few questions with small asides.

“Pineapple on Pizza, you guys are attacking Spock and Gaila with this question.”

“Travel to Vulcan, Australia, Scotland, Kenya, Japan, Russia or Georgia? Idk guys it so hard to tell who these answers are addressed to. I’m going with Jaylah and Gaila’s because Australia is closest to New Zealand”

“Jaylah's song is Sabotage, but so am I, so your obvious answer flies with me.”

“If things don’t work out with Bones and Spock you bet your ass I’m marrying Karl Urban.”

“I swear to god these last four questions have me thinking it’s possible to score myself on this test. I mean do I have another friend who likes Raisin Brand cereal because that’s pretty weird. Pavel and Scotty are the other math nerds, I know that much.”

“’How hot are you?’ I’m on fire baby,” Jim said winking at the camera.

“Let’s see,” Jim said as the screen loaded his results, “I am 75% Jaylah, 10% Nyota, 10% Gaila and 5% Hikaru. Wow.” Jim turned towards the camera. “Let’s be honest guys I only got Jaylah because of Australia and Sabotage.”

“So, Ny told me this net quiz is dated before Bones, Spock and I came out. Not sure why I need that warning but here we go,” Jim says as the next quiz loads on the screen. “’How much like Jim Kirk are you?’ I hope I’m exactly like him!”

“Favorite genre of music is hip-hop, I guess that what they mean. Favorite food is apples. Always eat pancakes on Sundays.” Jim looks up at the camera and smiles, “I am actually Ambidextrous in case you guys didn’t already know that.”

“Right,” Jim said, “Last question for this quiz and I get why Ny warned me. ‘How attractive do you think Spock is?’ I’m gonna put ‘have his babies’.”

“I swear if I get less than a 100%,” Jim said as the results loaded. “Oh wow, I’m 50% Jim Kirk. Well shit, I’ll have to change half of my name. Should I keep the Jim or the Kirk part?”

Jim was laughing hard as he continued reading, “’You have a few things in common with him but no one would mistake you two.’ Oh good. This is like when celebrities go to those look alike competitions and lose.”

Jim wiped tears from his eyes as he calmed his giggles. “Next quiz,” he said, his voice quivering with suppressed laughter, “is ‘Which of Jim Kirk’s Videos most describes your life?’”

“’Do you keep secrets?’ Sometimes. ‘Do you wear make-up?’ Sometimes. Are you a curious person? Yes.” Jim answered. “Okay is it just me or are the questions both obvious and weird as hell?”

“Anyway,” Jim said starting the quiz again. “How old are you? Great now they are going to steal my identity,” Jim complained as he hit ‘18-40’. “What a weird age ranges too.”

“I sort of keep a diary if you count the Captain’s log videos I make.” Jim said as he answered the last question.

“And the results are,” Jim said, “’Captain’s Logs, you are always getting into interesting situations and you find that it often leads to hilarity. You like to record your day to day happenings and show the world your real self.’ Well shit, truer words have never been spoken.”

“So, this next quiz is way longer,” Jim explained as he pulled it up, “It’s like twenty questions but I thought I’d do it anyway. It’s called, ‘How well do you know Jim Kirk?’ Apparently not well if the second quiz was anything to go by. This quiz was made after Bones, Spock and I came out according to Nyota.”

“Right favorite color again. Favorite song again. My favorite movie is Lord of the Rings: Two Towers. I like how Dredd is there to throw people off with Karl Urban in the remake but I like Two Towers for two reasons, Urban and Rohan. I love Rohan.

“Anyway, my favorite TV show is Almost Human. My birthday is January 4th, fun fact, that I’ve apparently already told you guys, I was supposed to be born in March. My predicted birthday was the 22nd. My favorite month is October and it has everything to do with my favorite holiday being Halloween.”

Jim stared at the screen in shock for a moment before speaking. “Um, wow go big or go home I guess. ‘Sexual preference?’ I’m pan. Gaila is the name of one of my friends for those of you who don’t know Perval is what my brother calls Pavel and Tiberius is my grandfather.”

Jim smiled, “I’m really liking this quiz. The answers are tricky. This question for example: ‘What’s an inside joke from his channel? a. you spelt soup wrong…I was just saying. b. You’re the one dressed like a prostitute on the side of the road while we are broken down in fracking Arizona! Or c. It’s not where’s Waldo’. The first one is from my channel but the other two are inside jokes between me and someone else. The Arizona one is from Hikaru’s channel and the Waldo one is from my channel but it isn’t between me and my fans it’s between me and my brother.”

“Anyway,” Jim said, “My favorite item of clothing is my jacket mostly because I need it to drive,” Jim paused as he clicked on ‘A Motorcycle’, “my motorcycle.

“I am an Architect outside of YouTube. My boyfriends are Spock and Leonard though I like the other two answers being: Spock and Hikaru and Hikaru and Pavel. Makes it seem like the answer should be Spock and Hikaru because they are both mentioned twice. Archer is my boss and Sarek is Spock’s dad so that leaves Chris as my godfather.”

Jim groaned as his computer took longer to load than usual. “Right,” he said as the next question pulled up. "My mother is Winona and my brother is George. I like that the other options are Spock’s mother and brother and Leonard’s mother and my brother’s middle name. Like these questions guys.”

Jim’s grin slipped off his face as he read ‘When did his father die?’. Jim took a deep breath before answering. “He died on my birthday.”

“Um,” Jim said awkwardly, “Joanna is Bones’ daughter but Elenore and Donna are his mother and sister. My middle name is Tiberius and I attended Starfleet University.”

Jim smirked as ‘Congratulations! You got them all correct! You must really know your Captain!’ popped up on the screen.

“So, this is the last quiz and as promised I’ll give you Spock and Bones’ results after I get mine,” Jim promised as the screen loaded the last quiz ‘Would Jim Kirk date you?’

“Picky about appearance? Guys I hate to admit this but I primp. We go on dates once a week. Obviously, I don’t mind more than one partner since I have two. I am very neat and I love breakfast for dinner.”

Jim laughed, “I like this next question. ‘Bubble baths?’ I’m putting ‘Is it a sexy bubble bath?’ something tells me Bones put that down as well. I like to have sex four times a week but that doesn’t normally work in my favor. I’m sure Spock put down once and Leonard either put twice or three times. I masturbate a lot.”

Jim blinked and looked at the camera. “So, this week on oversharing with Jim Kirk,” he said before shaking his head with a laugh. “I’m so for male lingerie.” Jim winked.

Jim looked at the next question and rolled his eyes. “It’s time for obvious question is obvious. ‘What state would you prefer to live in?’ Cali where I live now, Iowa where I was raised, Georgia where Bones was raised, or Washington where Spock’s mother was raised? This question.

“Anyway, last question: ‘How much do you like hugs?’ ‘Lay one on me! I never get tired of hugs!’,” Jim answered.

The results: ‘Jim would so date you!’ popped up on the screen and Jim lost it. His laughter rang out loudly in the room. “Oh god, Bones and Spock are going to be so pissed they both got ‘Maybe, Maybe not’. I can honestly say though,” Jim said finally calming down, “I would never date someone that similar to me, ever. I did it once in high school with this exchange student named Carol and never again. She made a great friend but no.”

“Well that was fun,” Jim started, “Hit the like and subscribe buttons. As always those with YouTube channels of their own who’ve been named dropped are linked in the description box. I’ll see you guys next week. This is your Captain, signing off.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter isn't story it's just the quizzes and answers.


	2. Quizes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So these are the quizzes Jim took and his answers will have a * by them. Spock and Bones' Quizzes are included too.

Which of Jim Kirk (CaptainEnterprise)’s friends are you?

1\. What is your favorite color?  
a. Red  
b. Pink  
c. Orange  
d. Green  
e. Blue  
f. Purple  
g. Yellow*

2\. What do you do in your spare time?  
a. Take long drives  
b. Pull pranks  
c. Draw  
d. Read*  
e. Party  
f. Fix things

3\. If you could only save on person who would it be?  
a. Spock  
b. Bones  
c. Pavel  
d. Gaila  
e. Jim  
f. I can’t pick it’s too hard!*

4\. How offensive do you fine pineapple pizza to be?  
a. It’s not offensive at all, I love it.  
b. Kill it with fire  
c. I let people live how they live*

5\. If you could travel anywhere, where would you go?  
a. To Vulcan  
b. To Australia*  
c. To Scotland  
d. To Kenya  
e. To Japan  
f. To Russia  
g. To Georgia

6\. Which song do you prefer?  
a. Sabotage*  
b. Hillbillybone  
c. Sledgehammer  
d. Talk Dirty to me

7\. If you could marry a celebrity who would you marry?  
a. Karl Urban*  
b. Chris Hemsworth  
c. Ryan Reynolds  
d. Ellen Degeneres  
e. Katy Perry

8\. How good at math are you?  
a. Oh god get the numbers away from me!  
b. Bring it on!*  
c. Eh…

9\. Favorite cereal?  
a. Raisin Brand*  
b. Frosted Flakes  
c. Cinnamon toast crunch  
d. Pops

10\. How hot do you think you are on a scale of one to five?  
a. One…Not hot  
b. Two  
c. Three…decent  
d. Four  
e. Five…I’m on fire baby*

You are: 75% Jaylah, 10% Gaila, 10% Nyota, and 5% Hikaru.

 

How much like Jim Kirk are you? 

1\. Favorite genre of music?  
a. Rock  
b. Pop  
c. Country  
d. Hip-hop*

2\. Favorite Food?  
a. Apples*  
b. Bananas  
c. Toast  
d. Bagels

3\. Favorite Vacation Location?  
a. Beach  
b. Mountains*  
c. Desert  
d. City

4\. What’s for breakfast on Sundays?  
a. Pancakes*  
b. Eggs and Bacon  
c. Cereal  
d. Toaster Strudel

5\. Are you left handed or right handed?  
a. Left Handed  
b. Right Handed  
c. Ambidextrous*  
d. You don’t need to know

6\. How attractive do you think Spock is?  
a. I want to have his babies*  
b. Ew  
c. What an adorkable  
d. He’s okay

You are: 50% Jim Kirk! You have a few things in common with him but no one would mistake you two.

 

Which of Jim Kirk’s Videos most describes your life?

1\. Do you keep secrets?  
a. No  
b. Yes  
c. Sometimes*

2\. Do you wear make-up?  
a. Yes  
b. No   
c. Sometimes*

3\. Are you a curious person?  
a. Sometimes  
b. Yes*  
c. No

4\. How old are you?  
a. Under 18  
b. 18-40*  
c. Over 40

5\. Do you keep a diary?  
a. Yes*  
b. No  
c. I tried

You are: Captain’s Logs, you are always getting into interesting situations and you find that it often leads to hilarity. You like to record your day to day happenings and show the world your real self.

 

How well do you know Jim Kirk?

1\. What’s his favorite color?  
a. Red  
b. Blue  
c. Yellow*

2\. What’s his favorite song?  
a. Sabotage*  
b. No quarters  
c. Meet me on the battlefield

3\. What’s his favorite movie?  
a. The Lord of the Rings: Two towers*  
b. Dredd  
c. Underworld

4\. Favorite Tv show?  
a. Almost Human*  
b. Criminal Minds  
c. American Horror Story

5\. Birthday?  
a. January 4*  
b. March 22  
c. July 4

6\. Month?  
a. March  
b. October*  
c. December

7\. Holiday?  
a. Halloween*  
b. Christmas  
c. New Years

8\. Sexual preference?  
a. Bisexual  
b. Homosexual  
c. Pansexual*

9\. Which is the name of one of his actual friends?  
a. Pervel  
b. Gaila*  
c. Tiberius

10\. An inside joke from his channel?  
a. You spelt soup wrong…I was just saying…*  
b. You’re the one dressed like a prostitute on the side of the road while we are broken down in fracking Arizona!  
c. It’s not where’s waldo

11\. Favorite item of clothing?  
a. Hat  
b. Boots  
c. Jacket*

12\. What does he drive?  
a. A corvette  
b. A Motorcycle*  
c. A truck

13\. What’s his job outside of youtube?  
a. Chef  
b. Doctor  
c. Architect*

14\. What are his boyfriends’ names?  
a. Spock and Leonard*  
b. Spock and Hikaru  
c. Hikaru and Pavel

15\. Who is his godfather?  
a. Jonathan Archer  
b. Sarek S’chn T’gai  
c. Christopher Pike*

16\. What’s his mother and brother’s names?  
a. Winona and George*  
b. Amanda and Sybok  
c. Elenore and Samuel

17\. When did his father die?  
a. On Christmas  
b. On his birthday*  
c. On his parents’ anniversary

18\. What’s the name of his boyfriend Bones’ daughter?  
a. Elenore  
b. Donna  
c. Joanna*

19\. What is his middle name?  
a. Christopher  
b. Samuel  
c. Tiberius*

20\. What college did he go to?  
a. Ole’ Miss  
b. University of Iowa  
c. Starfleet*

Congratulations! You got them all correct! You must really know your Captain!

 

Would Jim Kirk date you? JIM’S QUIZ

1\. How picky are you about your appearance?  
a. Not very  
b. I primp*  
c. I like to look nice but not that concerned  
d. I don’t own a mirror

2\. How often would you go out on a date?  
a. Once a month  
b. Twice a month  
c. Once a week*  
d. Twice a week

3\. Do you mind more than one partner?  
a. Yes  
b. No, but they have to be male  
c. No, but they have to be female  
d. No*

4\. How neat are you?  
a. Very*  
b. Okay  
c. Not at all  
d. depends

5\. Breakfast for dinner?  
a. Ew  
b. I could try it I guess  
c. Sign me up*  
d. On occasion

6\. Bubble baths?  
a. Yes!  
b. No  
c. Sure, I guess  
d. Is it a sexy bubble bath?*

7\. How often do you like to have sex?  
a. Once a week  
b. Twice a week  
c. Three times a week  
d. Four times a week*

8\. Your feelings on male lingerie?  
a. Ew no  
b. I’m for it!*  
c. I guess…  
d. What? That’s a thing?

9\. What state would you prefer to live in?  
a. California*  
b. Iowa  
c. Georgia  
d. Washington

10\. How much do you like hugs?  
a. Lay one on me! I never get tired of hugs!*  
b. I’m okay with them  
c. If you have too  
d. Don’t touch me

Results: Jim would so date you!

 

Would Jim Kirk date you? LEONARD’S QUIZ

1\. How picky are you about your appearance?  
a. Not very*  
b. I primp  
c. I like to look nice but not that concerned  
d. I don’t own a mirror

2\. How often would you go out on a date?  
a. Once a month  
b. Twice a month  
c. Once a week*  
d. Twice a week

3\. Do you mind more than one partner?  
a. Yes  
b. No, but they have to be male  
c. No, but they have to be female  
d. No*

4\. How neat are you?  
a. Very  
b. Okay*  
c. Not at all  
d. depends

5\. Breakfast for dinner?  
a. Ew  
b. I could try it I guess  
c. Sign me up*  
d. On occasion

6\. Bubble baths?  
a. Yes!  
b. No  
c. Sure, I guess  
d. Is it a sexy bubble bath?*

7\. How often do you like to have sex?  
a. Once a week  
b. Twice a week  
c. Three times a week*  
d. Four times a week

8\. Your feelings on male lingerie?  
a. Ew no  
b. I’m for it!*  
c. I guess…  
d. What? That’s a thing?

9\. What state would you prefer to live in?  
a. California  
b. Iowa  
c. Georgia*  
d. Washington

10\. How much do you like hugs?  
a. Lay one on me! I never get tired of hugs!  
b. I’m okay with them  
c. If you have too*  
d. Don’t touch me

Results: Maybe, Maybe not

 

Would Jim Kirk date you? SPOCK’S QUIZ

1\. How picky are you about your appearance?  
a. Not very  
b. I primp  
c. I like to look nice but not that concerned*  
d. I don’t own a mirror

2\. How often would you go out on a date?  
a. Once a month  
b. Twice a month  
c. Once a week*  
d. Twice a week

3\. Do you mind more than one partner?  
a. Yes  
b. No, but they have to be male  
c. No, but they have to be female  
d. No*

4\. How neat are you?  
a. Very*  
b. Okay  
c. Not at all  
d. depends

5\. Breakfast for dinner?  
a. Ew  
b. I could try it I guess  
c. Sign me up  
d. On occasion*

6\. Bubble baths?  
a. Yes!  
b. No  
c. Sure, I guess*  
d. Is it a sexy bubble bath?

7\. How often do you like to have sex?  
a. Once a week*  
b. Twice a week  
c. Three times a week  
d. Four times a week

8\. Your feelings on male lingerie?  
a. Ew no  
b. I’m for it!*  
c. I guess…  
d. What? That’s a thing?

9\. What state would you prefer to live in?  
a. California*  
b. Iowa  
c. Georgia  
d. Washington

10\. How much do you like hugs?  
a. Lay one on me! I never get tired of hugs!  
b. I’m okay with them  
c. If you have too*  
d. Don’t touch me

Results: Maybe, maybe not?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story was inspired by Dan and Phil's videos on taking quizzes.


End file.
